Incivility at work makes us more stressed out and our performance suffers. When left unchecked, it can contribute to a toxic work culture. Daniel Kim, Klodiana Lanaj and Joel Koopman write that employees who act rudely tend to feel guilty and vent at home in the evening. On the positive side, guilt also motivates them towards reparation, focusing harder on their tasks and avoiding breaking social workplace norms.
Many of us have done or said something at work that we later regretted. It’s a familiar scenario, a moment in which, despite our best intentions, we acted with incivility towards a colleague at work. Perhaps we interrupted a co-worker during a meeting, threw away a dismissive comment as we walked by a colleague’s desk, or ignored someone while at work. Unfortunately, such behaviours happen often as we are constantly pulled in many directions at work. Deadlines loom, tasks abound, tensions rise and consequently, interactions among co-workers often strain.
A recent survey of over 1,000 US employees found that 66 per cent of them experienced or witnessed incivility at work in the past month, and 57 per cent saw or experienced such behaviour within just the past week. These statistics are worrisome because, according to research, when colleagues treat us with incivility, it not only heightens our stress and negative emotions but also impairs our performance at work. Over time, unchecked incivility can also contribute to a toxic work culture.
In every rude encounter there are two parties involved: the person instigating incivility and the recipient of such acts. Although we know much about how experiencing rudeness affects employees at work, very few studies have explored what happens to those who act with rudeness. For this reason, in a recent study, we decided to examine how acting with incivility impacts employees at work. Because incivility violates important social workplace norms, such as being cordial and considerate towards fellow employees, we expected that such acts may increase feelings of guilt.
We tested these ideas through a series of studies. In the first one, we surveyed 107 employees and their spouses several times a day over three workweeks. This approach allowed us to track employees’ rude behaviours from day to day and to study how acting with incivility at work affected them at home and across days at work. In two follow-up studies, we also asked workers from various industries and organisations to recall times in which they were uncivil on the job and to reflect on how they felt subsequently. All three studies confirmed our expectations: those who acted rudely at work felt guilty afterwards. Interestingly, we also found that people who are generally predisposed to help others (those high in prosocial motivation), felt even more guilt after mistreating their co-workers.
But why are feelings of guilt important to understand? Given prior research, we expected that feeling guilty due to acting with incivility would hurt as well as help perpetrators of such acts. Indeed, we found that acting with rudeness weighed heavily on people’s conscience, which led them to vent at home. Venting is a harmful behaviour. It consists of rehashing negative work experiences, and it tends to worsen the mood of those involved as well as the quality of their relationship.
At the same time, we also found that feeling guilty after acting with incivility led to better performance and fewer acts of incivility the next day at work. These employees seemed motivated to repair their standing at work by focusing harder on their tasks and avoiding breaking social workplace norms. Overall, therefore, feeling guilty for acting with incivility at work backfired at home but improved behaviour at work.
There are three key takeaways from our research.
Incivility comes with a cost for actors, too
People who act rudely often feel guilty, and guilt is a negative emotion, which may burden them. Workers may benefit from avoiding such acts because, in addition to harming work relationships, being rude to others at work worsens one’s own mood and harms relationships with loved ones at home. Managers may benefit from establishing clear expectations of acceptable behaviour at work and from modelling respectful and professional conduct to reinforce a culture of civility. Doing so may curb acts of incivility in the first place, which may be beneficial for employees and their organisation.
Incivility may be self-corrective over time
Many of us may have a bad day at work because of unanticipated events such as heavy traffic on our way to work or a distressing personal text message. Employees who act with rudeness because of such stressful and unpredictable daily events may take solace in knowing that guilt due to rudeness may motivate self-corrective behaviours over time. As our findings show, those who acted rudely and felt guilty, in turn, worked harder at their job and in their interactions with colleagues the next day at work.
In light of these findings, it may be worthwhile for managers to offer training on effective communication and conflict resolution to help employees navigate challenging interactions more effectively at work. And in response to potential reports of workplace incivility, managers should act swiftly to help the transgressing employee course-correct and thus prevent rude exchanges from spiralling and creating a hostile work environment.
Disposition matters
Our findings show that prosocial employees were most affected by acts of incivility. People who are naturally inclined to put others’ interests above their own need to recognise that acts of incivility may be particularly disruptive for them. They may want to avoid situations or organisational cultures that promote such acts. In addition, given the valuable role prosocial employees play in most workplaces, it is important for managers to provide tailored support by encouraging them to perhaps apologise or take responsibility for the harm that they may have caused to their colleagues via their rude behaviour. Restoring fractured work relationships is likely to benefit all parties involved and to contribute to a more civil work environment.
Acting with incivility is a complex experience. Perpetrators feel guilty after such acts, which weighs on them at home, but also promotes corrective behaviour at work. We must all strive to act with civility and kindness at work. However, on days when we inadvertently slip and offend a colleague, we can take comfort in knowing that we can still turn the situation around by working harder and being kinder to colleagues.
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- This blog post is based on Incivility Affects Actors Too: The Complex Effects of Incivility on Perpetrators’ Work and Home Behaviors, Journal of Business Ethics
- The post represents the views of the author(s), not the position of LSE Business Review or the London School of Economics and Political Science.
- Featured image provided by Shutterstock
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