This is my inaugural piece on relationships, so bear with me, I’m no Carrie Bradshaw. I don’t consider myself a private person, except when it comes to my relationship with my boyfriend, Ben. But, this year, I’ve come across many fellow LSE students who are also in long-distance relationships. In fact, one of my friends has left her husband behind for the one-year duration of our MSc programs. We joke together over our weekly post-seminar Fleet River coffees, “This is our ‘LDR’ support group meeting!” So it’s time to break my silence and share my secrets about how Ben and I make our LDR work.

Being in a long-distance relationship isn’t easy, especially when you’re a full-time student. Attempting to juggle coursework, dissertation research, and battling TfL to get to campus every morning is exhausting. By the time I return to my flat in the evening, I’m lucky if I eat something besides cereal for dinner before collapsing into bed. But I never go to bed without talking to Ben, who lives in the States, to recap my day. Even after really stressful school days we manage to talk, whether about my school, his work (he’s a pilot, so he’s inevitably done something cooler than I have on any given day!), or simple things, like what we’ve been listening to on Spotify or what we’ll do on our upcoming trip to Paris. He doesn’t realize how important this deconstruction of my day is. This evening phone call is ultimately the bedrock of our relationship, as we’re both so busy. Some days, the call is more emotionally taxing than others but it’s always still the highlight of my day.

My friends always ask me, “How do you do it?” And I usually reply by listing the following five pieces of advice that I’d like to give (as a relationship non-expert) to LSE students that are in LDRs:

1. Make the most of the holidays –

LSE gives us good, long breaks between academic terms. It’s important to make the most of them, not just in terms of writing essays, but also in terms of spending time with your significant other. Whether you travel home or they come to London, spend as much time as possible with them and cherish it. Over the Christmas holidays, Ben and I spent time in Chicago and New York, celebrating the holidays. If funding is short and travel isn’t possible, spending a little extra time on Skype is also an option!

2. Schedule each other in –

Making your significant other a part of your daily routine is key to maintaing a healthy LDR. Whether you make a daily phone/Skype call or spend an afternoon exchanging text messages, keeping each other informed about your mutual goings-on is foundational for any relationship. And most importantly, letting them know that you love them and miss them is the most important part of this daily ritual.

3. Recognize when you need “me” time –

When I become stressed about school, Ben is often the first to know. Sometimes, to avoid hurting his feelings or making him worry, I have to shut my phone off and sort my priorities. That being said, he is also a good source of motivation: he’ll be the first to tell me to get my essays written and that I’m here for school, not for him. As harsh as these realities may seem, it’s important to recognize when you need to power down Skype and focus. Your significant other will understand.

4. Plan a long-distance date (it’s possible!)

Ben and I have a ritual of watching a Netflix movie together on Sunday afternoons. Although he’s usually having his coffee while watching Wes Anderson, it’s a time when we can both relax and know that we’re doing something together, and for each other, even though we’re separated by an ocean. You can also do things like try new recipes in your respective kitchens, or read the same book and have a mini book club with one another. Whatever you decide upon, know that it’s not a perfect substitute for doing things together, but that you’ll eventually be able to snuggle up together and watch Netflix in person, and it will be that much more rewarding!

5. Have a piece of them in London

A photo, a t-shirt, a stuffed animal (they’re not just for kids!) – whatever you need to remind you that your significant other is there for you, even if he’s on a different continent, keep it in your room and it will make you smile, even on the toughest days.

I have no doubts in my mind that my long-distance relationship is “worth it.” It’s not always easy, and although I hate this cliche, I’ve come to discover that distance really does make the heart grow fonder.